The Lake House Incident

"I'm going to spend the weekend with my family at our lake house." Boxer Breifs told me. "Would you...want to come?"

"Okay," I replied. "But how are we going to get anything accomplished with your parents around?"

He didn't answer.

We got to the lake house a few hours before his parents. He leaned in and kissed me tenderly on the lips. I smiled. He plopped down ungracefully onto the couch.

My smile vanished.

"Commere." He patted the couch next to him. I sat down and primly crossed my legs. "Whatttt?" He asked. He put his arm over my shoulder. "My bedroom is over there if you want to see it."

That was all the coaxing I needed. I stood up and followed him. We began to kiss and he pushed me onto his bed. He ferociously tore at my shirt and pushed his pants down.

"I can't." I said, sitting up.

"Why?"

"I...just started my period."

"I don't care if you don't." Boxer Briefs pushed his glasses up on his nose. "I really don't."


Just then, we heard the sound of a door open. He pulled on his shirt and walked out to meet his parents.

Needless to say, the rest of the day was relatively uneventful.


That night, however, there was a knock on my door.

"Come in."

Boxer Briefs, clad in (you guessed it) boxer breifs, waltzed into my room.

"Look what I did!"

He pulled me into the next room, which was his. His bed was full of awkward lumps.

"It's supposed to be me!"

I glared at him.

"Boxer Breifs... No human in the world is shaped like that, and last time I checked, you wern't a camel. Besides, if you were, you can bet your ass I wouldn't be here."

He looked at me sheepishly.

"I'm spending the night with you, Ava. No one will ever guess the differance."

"No you're not."

"I am"

"Am not."

"Fine," He sighed, "Can I at least come in for a minute?"



A minute turned into a blow job.

"I really don't mind," He said, tugging at my underwear.

He rolled on top and pushed into me...The sex, like usual, was over pretty quickly.

"Go back to your room, okay?" I turned on the lights and put my clothes on when i realized...

"Boxer Breifs?" I heard my voice rise. "There's blood all over the goddamn fucking SHEETS!"

"So?" He said. "If my mom asks, say you had a...nose bleed."

"Yeah, right. My nose is really strategically located right in the middle of the fucking bed."

We heard footsteps in the hall, and Boxer Briefs ran into his room, leaving me quaking in the hall.

"Whats going on out here?" Asked his mom. "I was hearing weird noises!"

I pointed to my nose. I was about to go with the nose bleed lie when my George Washington complex kicked in. How could I lie to his poor, unassuming, sweet little mom?

"I....started my period." I looked at my feet guiltily.

"It's okay, honey!" she said quickly. "I just washed some more sheets..." Her voice trailed off.

"It's not too bad," I said, humiliated.

Boxer Briefs walked out of his room rubbing his eyes.

"What's going on out here?" He asked, unconvincingly. He faked a yawn and stretched.

"GO BACK TO BED!" snapped his mother. She gave me a small smile.


The next morning, I slept later then everyone else. I woke up to the smell of waffles cooking. I walked into the living room.

"Want to go for a walk before breakfast?" I asked Boxer Breifs.

"Sure."

"Did your mom say anything about...last night?" I asked. "You were a bit...unrealistic."

"As a matter of fact..." He stifled a smile, "She said you had a "feminine accident!""




Wonderful.